Many childfree women can relate to feeling ambivalent or conflicted about the decision to remain childfree. In her debut novel Wild Egg, British author Jennifer Flint shares her messy and complicated inner journey to make peace with her choice not to have children.
Jennifer never expected to write this semi-autobiographical book. She originally set out to write a book inspired by her late father’s dream of becoming an author. But when the UK went into lockdown in 2020, Jennifer found herself at a personal crossroads. After dedicating over two decades to climbing the corporate ladder, her demanding career no longer fulfilled her. With her 50th birthday looming, she longed to finally write the book she’d always imagined creating.
In 2013, Jennifer’s husband tenderly broached the subject of trying for a baby. Although 41 years old, the thought had never seriously crossed Jennifer’s mind.
Years later during the lockdown, when Jennifer unexpectedly found herself called to write the book she longed to read all those years ago, she began to struggle with her own decision and spiraled into self-doubt. In retrospect, this was the beginning of her novel. Jennifer wrestled with herself for months, vacillating between yes and no. She tried rationally weighing the pros and cons to no avail. The more Jennifer analytically dissected the decision, the more torn she felt.
Exasperated, Jennifer eventually surrendered logic and sank into deep self-inquiry. She asked herself, “Is motherhood my wholehearted choice, or what I’ve been programmed to want?” This soul-searching mission to uncover her authentic truth led Jennifer out of the corporate world. She embarked on an intense period of spiritual development that included retreats, meditation, and work with Buddhist nuns.
Eventually, Jennifer found clarity, recognizing that not birthing a child did not mean completely eschewing her “motherhood energy.” She realized something within her still needed expression and birth, just in a different form.
Jennifer poured her messy, imperfect journey into the character of Hollie in Wild Egg. Though the main character, Hollie, is fictional, her ambivalence and metamorphosis echo Jennifer’s real-world experience.
While writing Wild Egg, Jennifer’s marriage broke down and she has since left her corporate career. She self-published her book during lockdown and has moved into a new phase of exploring life’s possibilities.
For Jennifer, choosing not to have children blew open the door to questioning all of society’s defaults. She believes it’s vital that women know they have options. Though motherhood may be a valid choice for some, no woman should simply drift into it without conscious intent.
Wild Egg speaks profoundly to women weighing the monumental question of motherhood. It delves unflinchingly into the grief, turmoil, and shame the choice can unearth. Ultimately Jennifer hopes to validate and comfort women struggling with societal pressures and expectations around having children. Regardless of the decision each woman makes, Jennifer believes the most important thing is choosing deliberately based on her own inner truth, not simply defaulting.
The book has resonated with childfree and childless women alike. It’s received praise as a fresh story that breaks outdated stereotypes of the selfish, cold-hearted career woman. Women have credited Wild Egg with helping them feel seen, understood, and confident in their own childfree identity.
With so few mainstream narratives celebrating childfree women, Jennifer’s story provides a welcome mirror for those seeking to see their own complexity and humanity reflected. It captures the universality of the self-doubt, grief, and conditioning that can knot up this profound decision. Wild Egg breathes life into the ups, downs, and lightbulb moments of one woman’s journey toward claiming her choice.
